Hearing and Following God's ridiculous Requests

Has God ever asked you to do something you thought was a bit odd or strange or just not logical?  Did you have the courage to do it or did you chicken out?  When God asked you did you get angry or excited? I have been going through a long period this last 3 years of God asking me to do some frustrating things.  In the past I would get angry or fearful or say bitterly "another character developing opportunity"  when God asked me to go through difficult situations.  Because of my attitude these situations where extra unpleasant and though I did develop character I also developed doubt and bitterness.  In the last three years I have embraced a new attitude.  One of faith in God, knowing He loves me.  I was eagerly waiting to see what cool things Jesus did in the midst of the Chaos to sustain me and make good come out of bad. 

This three year period started out with a very unfortunate incident.  I was walking across the road and I was struck by a truck.  Do not under an circumstances try to take on a truck on foot - it does not go well!  I was J walking and he failed to stop or look before he turned out in front of me.  I broke my leg at the femur - like right in half so it was dangling at a strange angle when I tried to lift it up.  I also re injured a concussion that I had gotten a year previously from being tossed off a horse head first when it fell in a hole at a gallop.  Now this accident was not God's fault but human error, but for the last three years God has been making good come out of it.

I have learnt so many things!  For instance, how to hear God even in demanding situations.  Just like the sermon last week about how to learn good discernment: God has been teaching me to listen carefully, be alert, surrender and trust God for victory.  Because of the leg and the concussion I have had to be very still for very long periods of time.  It is amazing how much easier it is to hear God when you are still and quiet.  I am a very goal oriented person and I like to get stuff done - I do not like to rest.  However God has taught me to rest and actually enjoy it and benefit from it. 

With my concussion I have progressed to only needing quiet rest about 4 times a day for about an hour a time.  Right after the accident I pretty much rested 24 / 7 .  If I do not rest I get headaches of epic proportions that make any kind of any activity debilitating.   Reading quietly or watching TV or even talking on the phone with my eyes closed do not count as rest.   I must ,make like a mushroom, and spend lots of time in a dark quiet bed doing nothing.  At the start this was very frustrating and boring, but I got better at it and if resting were an Olympic sport I would now so get gold!  I discovered that the quiet worked really well for listening to God and if I surrendered to Him he would give me peace and joy.  Because I did not have my brain cluttered with all my busy plans I found I could be alert to hear God's voice and hear Him better than ever before.  He has been very clear that He wants to me to keep resting as much as I need to and give my list of things I need to get done to Him.  I have learnt to trust Him for victory over my anxious heart and He has calmed me down so much.  It is very hard to get anything done when you need to rest as often and as long as me.   However, I have seen God do supernatural things to my heart and to my schedule and He has come through. 

Now when I have to go rest I feel safe and peaceful instead of frustrated and driven.   You might say my life is a bit ridiculous when it is interrupted with sleep so often through out the day.  God does ask me to rest and that does appear to be a counter intuitive request if you goal is getting stuff done.  But I have discovered that for me obeying God means resting and He gives me such a joy and relief in that.  He has shown me that all that down time has been a wonderful opportunity to pray and to meditate on his word.  These two acts have totally changed my life in so many good ways.  God's word is so awesome and following it is the path to true contentment and satisfaction.  I do some times still feel frustrated and wish I had more time to get things done but when I run to God he shows me to be patient and do what He asks.  This works so much better than trying to do what the world says you must do to be considered successful.

  Just like the Isrealites laid rocks from the middle of the river to remember what God had done for them, I want to keep blogging what God has done for me.  I want to remember so my faith can be strengthened.   We sing a song at church called the rock won't move and it really describes well my journay through the last three years -  here are the words:

The Rock Won't Move

Verse 1

When the ground beneath my feet gives way

And I hear the sound of crashing waves

And all my world is washing out to sea

I'm hidden safe in the God who never moves

Holding fast to the promise of the truth

That You are holding tighter still to me

 

Chorus 1

The rock won't move and His word is strong

The rock won't move and His love can't be undone

The rock won't move and His word is strong

The rock won't move and His love can't be undone

The rock of our salvation

 

Verse 2

My hope is in the promise of Your blood

My support within the raging flood

Even in the tempest I can sing

I'm hidden safe in the God who never moves

Holding fast to the promise of the truth

That You are holding tighter still to me

 

Misc 1

(Interlude)

Woah woah woah the rock of our salvation

 

Misc 2

(Bridge)

On Christ the solid rock I stand

All other ground is sinking sand

The rock won't move the rock won't move

When darkness seems to hide His face

I rest in His unchanging grace

The rock won't move the rock won't move

CCLI Song # 7005719

 

 

Seriously! Peace

Peace, something we all long for and something that sometimes feels like an elusive emotion.   On September 14 my pastor implied that there is a way to access internal peace and rest regardless of the circumstances.  That sounds a might bit unrealistic given my circumstances lately.  I have been trying recently to give my problems to God and to trust Him with them but it is not so easy. 

For instance take the problem of wasps entering my home.  Since late summer I have had wasps coming into my house at a rate of about 5 a day.  I first see them in my dining room hanging out at the ceiling or in the big window.  I do not like wasps or any kind of stinging insect.  They are not aggressive which is good but still creepy. 

I like to be control of my environment some might even say I am obsessive  about certain things.  Well my brain got a hold of this wasp crisis and it was off and running trying to figure out how to fix it and what might the worse case scenario look like.  I imagined hundreds of wasps descending into my house and biting me and my children repeatedly and us all dying.  I also imagined never being able to find where they were coming in and thus never being able to stop them.   For some reason these thoughts would whip me into an internal frenzy of fear.  That fear then urged me to do whatever it took to fix this problem and not rest until it was over.  I had prayed and asked God to help me but I was not trusting Him enough to let go of the anxiety and fear.  I basically wanted Him to fix the problem the way I had figured out to fix it.  I wanted him to show me where the little buggers were getting in and then extract the entire nest so that the wasps would be gone.

So i proceeded with my plan of attack still scared and overwhelmed and not feeling very restful or peaceful.   I watched the dining room like a hawk for days at a time trying to catch a wasp entering.  There was some knot holes in the ceiling and some gaps around the trim.  I could never see the blasted things making their entrance so I put duck tape over all the knot holes to see if that helped.  I still had wasps showing up.  I would get the ladder from the shop and frantically kill each one that appeared with great fear of getting stung. 

I was sharing my dilemma with my sister in law and hubby one day at lunch.  I needed to explain to my sister in law why I was spending time out of our visit hauling out the ladder and never looking at her when she talked but instead focusing on the trim in the ceiling.  She was very support of of my plans to kill all wasps but my husband felt I was being rude to her.  He pointed out that they had not bit me yet and were just coming in because of the cold weather which makes them sleepy.   They were on deaths door anyway.   He suggested I kill them when I see them and not be so panicked.   I freaked at him and said my fears were justified and I would not rest until I found where these wasps are coming in.   I see now that He was trying to help but because I was over reacting, his comments just made me more anxious.  

So I had it out with God.  I told Him that He had promised to answer my prayers and where was He and why was I so upset.  Maybe the promise of peace was only to folks who do not have OCD and insects storming their home.  When I rant with God I try to also journal and write down what He says back.  Prayer is a two way conversation.  This is very helpful because after all God is the creator of the universe and is all knowing, which come in handy when problem solving.  So When I listened this time, God said that He promised to answer when we ask without doubt.  Doubt can block us from answers. (James 1:6-8) So my fear and anxiety was blocking an answer.  Also He gently pointed out that when I ask for help I should not put Him in a box and demand He answer me in only my certain predetermined way.  That was nervy of me and I should repent.  Well I must say I responded much better to God than I did to my husband.  I wonder why that is? 

I repented and then asked for help with the wasps and I trusted God to fix it somehow.  Trust is so freeing.  It's like a buy one get one free.  You buy into trust and you get peace and rest just as an added bonus.  I guess in the future, I need to be watching out for anxiety and fear because if I  have them I know automatically I am not really trusting God and that I have doubt.  This relates back to that sermon where Jason pointed out that if we are not in step with God we will not have that internal peace and rest.  We need to look for God and what He is doing - instead of telling Him how to do his job!  We need to ask God what to do and step out and actually do it, letting go of the fear and worry.  So I gave the wasps to God and my obsession about finding their home and eradicating them.  When I listened to God He said that I needed to calm down and just kill any wasps that came in and not worry about them.  So that is what I did.  God gave me the strength to stop obsessing and be OK that the odd wasp would enter my house a few times a day.   God helped me get over my fear of wasps and just not mind sharing my space with them so much.    I decided to let go of my need to find where they were entering and it is such a better way to live. 

Even though I did not see the answer right away, and wasps where still paying me frequent visits, I still had peace and rest - what a precious gift.  Eventually they stopped coming in as often and now they only come occasionally every few days.  I just calmly smack them with the fly swatter - I am really getting good with that thing! - and proceed on with my day.  I am so glad I did not rip out the ceiling to try to find their nest or hire an expensive bug killer guy.  Jason was right you can have internal peace and rest regardless of the circumstances even if you are a women with some emotional hang ups.